


One, two, Push!

by defiantwillpower



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: M/M, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-13 12:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7977310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/defiantwillpower/pseuds/defiantwillpower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is definitely a work in progress, but hope you stick with me! Updated relationships will be in a few chapters (shhh! It's a secret)!</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Again?!

**Author's Note:**

> This is definitely a work in progress, but hope you stick with me! Updated relationships will be in a few chapters (shhh! It's a secret)!

“Oh shit.” Beth’s voice was loud enough to float downstairs, but it went unacknowledged by the two teenagers lounging on the couch.  Summer glanced to her brother before her attention focused back to her phone. In response, Morty just turned up the television, but they both knew their father would be the first to intervene anyway. Why put forth the effort? Their grandfather’s explosions were enough to warrant caution. If their mother had been turned into Medusa, the Smith children wanted exactly zero percent involvement. Going headfirst into a problem was never the best way to solve it in their experience. Jerry, however, had yet to learn that lesson. 

He rushed into the room, breathing heavily. “What...happened!?” 

“You did, Jerry. The root of all my problems start with you.” Beth threw a small object at him, which Jerry caught with surprising ease. He looked at the small stick and it came into focus only for him to fumble with it. 

“It’s...a pregnancy test.... So that means…” 

“I’m pregnant, Jerry! I give you one night for your birthday and you give me another eighteen years of regret!” Beth shut the bathroom door on him, leaving Jerry holding the stick in his hands. 

“You peed on this?!” He dropped it immediately and danced away from it, heading out the door and downstairs. 

“What...uh...what’s goin’ on, Dad?” Morty called, though he never took his gaze from the television. 

“Uh, nothing. It’s nothing. Nothing your old dad can’t fix.”  Jerry wandered into the kitchen, scratching his head and opening the fridge. “Oh good. Yogurt.” He reached out, picking up a container that had “Rick” written on it. “He won’t know…” As soon as he raised the lid, though, he heard the garage door swing open. He didn’t even have time to react before Rick’s lanky form came rushing in.

“Hey, what the hell are you doing, Jerry?” Rick snatched the container out of Jerry’s hands. “That’s mine. It has my name on it. Did you forget your name again?” He replaced it back in the fridge.

“Sorry, Rick,” Jerry shot back. He didn’t sound sorry, though, continuing simply because he was annoyed enough to try and antagonize Rick. “I thought that since I paid for the fridge-” 

“Wrong. Beth did.” 

“I paid for the yogurt-” 

“Wrong again. Beth.” 

“I pay for the energy bill!” 

“Wrong. Also Beth.” Rick just short a smirk at him, lounging against the cabinet. Fucking with Jerry was too easy, but sometimes, after a bad day, there was nothing better... 

Jerry threw up his hands. “Whatever, Rick. I’m not in the mood for this.” 

“Why? Because you think Beth’s pregnant?” 

“How do you know that?” 

“How the hell do you think? Jesus, Jerry. You think...you think I just let you people run around this house without surveillance? An alarm goes off every time you take a shit so I can protect myself. You think I don’t know when...when people are peeing on pregnancy tests?” He rolled his eyes and took a drink from his flask. “Anyway, Beth’s not pregnant. I injected you with a sterilization serum months ago. So unless she’s been getting some on the side, which, frankly...who would blame her...” 

“You...what?!” 

“So I’m not pregnant?” Beth came into the kitchen and leaned on the counter. “Dad, are you sure?” 

“Of course I’m sure, sweetie. Do you think I want another kid running around here? Another Jerry offspring?” 

“Hey!” Jerry’s protest, though, went unnoticed by the two as Beth embraced her father. He looked sadly down between his own legs, mourning the loss for one sad, sad moment. “Not like it matters anyway.” He looked up to Beth. “At least we don’t have to deal with your pregnancy hormones for nine months, huh?” He grinned, trying to lighten the mood, but no one else did. Rick, sensing a fight, retreated into the garage to bang really loudly on equipment in annoyance to drown out the inevitable. Beth’s hands curled at her sides. 

“You think it was a picnic for me, Jerry? Huh?”

“Oh come on, Beth! You were walking around here, crying over commercials one minute and then wanting to stab me in the throat the next.” 

Summer, who had unwisely decided to pour herself a bowl of cereal, walked in the kitchen and chuckled. “Well, Dad. Mom usually does.”

“Summer, out!” both Jerry and Beth snapped. 

“Okay, okay, geez. It’s not like I live here or anything.” She walked past her parents and poured herself a bowl of cereal. “You two fight all the time. What’s the difference now?” She took her cereal back into the living room, effectively tuning them out. 

“You think pregnancy is easy, Jerry? We’ll just see about that.” She stormed into the garage and left Jerry in the kitchen, leaning against the counter. 


	2. Poor Jerry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter just to move the story along. Questions will be answered next chapter and tags will be updated!

They waited until he was asleep before they attacked. Jerry had gone too far and Beth needed to punish him. rick, sensing a rift in their relationship, of course needed to participate fully. So while Morty and Summer slept on, oblivious to what was happening just down the hall, Rick inserted a long, thing needle into Jerry's abdomen. Jerry grimaced in his sleep, but the pain didn't last and he licked his lips before muttering: "It's my turn to be on top, Beth." He rolled over towards Beth, who was holding her hand over her mouth to stifle her excited giggles. She stumbled out into the hallway, Rick on her heels. 

"I can't believe we just did that!" she whispered, feeling like a little girl again. She embraced Rick and, for a moment, she felt like they were actually bonding like a father and daughter should. That feeling lasted for about ten seconds before Rick patted her awkwardly on the back, belched loudly, and pulled open his phone. 

"I can. Now you promised me a Jerry-free vacation if I did this," he reminded her, never taking his eyes off the phone. They wandered together down the hallway, not wanting to wake their sleeping victim. 

"Sure, Dad. Wherever you want to go. On Earth." She paused. "On _this_ Earth." Another pause. "On a beach. A safe beach." 

As if summoned from a bottle, Summer appeared in the hallway, her eyes bright, as if she hadn't just woken up from a deep sleep. "Oh my god! A vacation? Let's go to Cancun!" she announced in a happy whisper before disappearing back into her room. "Good thing I bought myself a new suit, huh?"

Rick groaned. "Well, this sucks already." He opened Morty's door. "Hey. Get up. We're dropping your mother and Summer off at a beach and then you and grandpa have some errands to run." 

Morty, bleary eyed but used to 3 AM wake up calls, mechanically began to dress. "Yeah, okay..." 

Summer, who had an emergency beach bag packed out of an abundance of hope, appeared in the hallway again. "What about dad?" she asked, looking to the other adults in the hallway. Rick, who was already on his way downstairs, snorted. 

"Jerry's got his own shit to worry about." Beth shared in a laugh with him as she ushered Summer out. Sensing foul play, Summer tried to dig her heels in, but the prospect of a beach trip distracted her from what she really wanted to say. She was clearly at war with herself, but, in the end, she decided to risk it.

"What did you do?" she grumbled, but Beth was ready for that. 

"We'll talk about it in the car," she promised.

"We can't just leave him alone," came Morty's voice from behind them. For some reason, Rick began to laugh. 

"Yeah. Maybe he needs a _baby_ sitter." He tapped his lips and then sent a quick text. ""I know just who to call..."


	3. Rick, you bastard!

The room was dark and still as Jerry woke up. There was a small knock at the door and he opened his eyes, feeling a pain in his stomach that reminded him of the time he ate some spoiled yogurt from the fridge. Only worse. Ignoring the knock, he bolted out of the door and into the bathroom, uprooting the remains of last's night's dinner into the toilet bowl. He couldn't even bear to look at it. He turned his face away and flushed it, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Beth...?" he called out, but it wasn't her sweet, feminine tones that answered. 

"She's not here, buddy." It was a voice sweeter than Beth's. It came from the only person in the universe, in any universe, who understood him. 

"Rick?" He perked his head up and grinned. It wasn't just any Rick, either. It was Rick from dimension J19ζ7. The one the others called "Doofus Rick," but who Jerry called friend. He hurried to him and embraced the other man, an overwhelming feeling of bonding and friendship blooming in the midst of the strange circumstances. "What are you doing here?" 

"Um, Rick called me. He wanted me to come and watch you while the rest of your family went on vacation." Rick seemed to be genuinely upset about what he was saying and he kept a hand on Jerry's arm for support. In response, Jerry leaned against him, the weight sagging underneath him. 

"Vacation? Beth's left me, huh? Well...I thought she would have left the kids here," he muttered, shaking his head. 

"Oh! No, no. It's not like that, Jerry! Don't worry. It's just that...well...they played a mean prank on you and I'm here to make sure you're okay. They're going to be watching us from cameras Rick put in. But...I think it'll be okay. I'll keep you safe!" he assured him, his grip tightening on Jerry's arm. "I'm sorry. I don't think it's a very nice prank." He watched Jerry's face closely, cautiously optimistic that this wouldn't upset Jerry too much. 

Jerry, for his part, was silent. "Well, what sort of prank?" he asked. "Is that why I just threw up my dinner in the toilet?" Jerry walked to his bed and sat down, his hands on his stomach again. It felt odd; though at least the nausea had passed. 

Rick looked more awkward than usual and sat down beside him, placing a hand on Jerry's arm. "Well, um, Rick decided to impregnate you, I guess. He said Beth was mad and that he likes it when Beth is mad at you. It's only supposed to last for a day!" 

Jerry's first emotion was rage, but not at Rick. "Beth! How could she? Is this because I told her that I didn't want her to be pregnant?" He clenched his fist and then, unexpectedly, tears formed at the corner of his eyes. It was an odd sensation, but he couldn't stop from crying. He couldn't stop from feeling horribly upset, but it didn't even scratch the surface of how he really felt. It was a physical feeling in his chest, and he needed to release it. 

But then the reality of it sank in and he felt everything emptying out of him. "Rick. Are you saying that I'm...I'm pregnant?" he asked. "How in the world did-" 

"Oh! Aw geez, Jerry, it's not that bad. It's not a real baby. It's just, well, it's pretend! But hey, remember those brownies that we made together?" Rick asked, trying to get his mind off of what his wife and father in law had done to him. 

"Yeah..." he muttered, sniffling still, but the overload of emotions caused a short circuit that was at least keeping him calm. "I remember." 

"Well, Beth isn't here. We can have brownies for breakfast if you want," he suggested, standing up and reaching down to take Jerry's hand. "It's going to be a good day, Jerry. I promise. You can get through this and I'll be with you the entire time." 

Jerry was still upset, but it wasn't this Rick's fault. Even Jerry could see that he was just trying to help. Maybe it wouldn't be so terrible. Maybe he could just show Rick and Beth that it wasn't so bad. He could do this! He could!


End file.
